I don't normally put stuff like this up on my blog. I usually just use it for journaling purposes. But I read this article on FB today about pornography by a guy named Matt Walsh. I've read a few articles of his before and most times they are about controversial issues. So I was not surprised that he chose to write about such a topic. When I read his stuff I never read the comments or post a comment myself. But after reading this article I was rather disgusted. Not for the reason you may think though. Let me explain...
Just yesterday I was having a conversation with my sister about pornography because her ward had a special lesson on it at church. I think it's great to bring the topic out into the open. And let me be clear, I DO NOT like, watch, agree or condone pornography. I agree with the article that it in every way hurts your marriage and is damaging to your brain. I also agree that it is a form of adultery. The author makes some good points through out the article, but I do not agree with the way he "shames" the people who view pornography. If you really want to help someone who watches pornography or even just deter a young person from going down that path, calling names is absolutely the wrong way to go about it. In his article he uses words like: "creeps" "psychotic" "utterly despicable" "smaller" "liar" "sneaky" "shameful" and "pervert" to describe those that watch and/or are addicted to porn. But yet in the same article says "I'm not here to castigate you if you've stumbled". Hmmm.....
I've known men that have had a problem with porn. It's very damaging to them and their families. But let me also point out that it is not only a problem for men. So the fact that this article only mentions men, makes it even more disturbing to me. Pornography is a big problem in our society, (along with so many other things) for men AND women of ALL ages. And I do think it's something that needs to be brought to the attention of the parents today to help prevent young kids from getting involved with it. But please don't use such negative language. Here is a great article with tips on how to talk to your young kids. This is the reason I decided to post this on here. I strongly believe in talking to your kids and being open with them about these types of things. I want my kids to feel comfortable coming to me with questions, so they don't have to turn to the internet. Which could lead to them finding numerous amounts of inappropriate things.
Monday, November 25, 2013
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I read an article by a woman who was a recovering porn addict, and now is a youth counselor for her ministry. She was a pastor's daughter in rural Texas. They moved to a bigger city and her youth pastor molested her. She was too scared to tell anyone. She turned to the internet to google what the words meant thay he was telling her, and that is how she came across and was addicted to pornography. It took her almost 15 years after that to even tell her own mom, thats how ashamed she was. In her article she talked about how open you have to be with your kids, and how younng you have to start talking with them. I was kind of depressed for several days after reading it, like.... how sad our kids have to lose that innocence. After a lot of prayer and soul searching and talking with chris, we just came to the conclusion that being very open and having lots of rules regarding technology use are 2 of the main things we will have to use. I honestly get a little freaked out/sad/scared when I think about all the evil my kids will have to face. But that's a story for another time. Back to the shaming. I just read Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (SO good) but she talks a lot about shame. Shame -which is a huge obstacle for getting help- can only stay alive if you keep it in the dark, once you bring it out in the light(talking about Iit, getting help) it dies. This applies to shame for all reasons, but when you think about shame and kids and pornography, it's especially important that our kids feel safe enough to come talk to us and ask us questions. I hope that all made sense. :)
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